Back in Black

Wow...its been forever since I last wrote in this blog! I will try to write in here more often!! Its been the craziest of summers, but I will get into more of that some other time.

Single life has been real good lately. I mean, im not gonna lie...but it does get pretty lonely especially when your best friend is romantically involved with someone you hang out with everyday. This is what I wanted though, I want to be single, especially after everything I have been through this past year, its definitely the right thing for me to do. I need to focus on myself and reinvent myself.Im excited to do so too!! I have so many ideas and plans accumulated in my head! I might write about them later. I think the whole moving back to california situation will really help with that and I honestly cannot be more excited to move back! My friend Kaylee offered to move in with me since she is currently living in Santa Cruz, also my friend Kelsey is moving down there as well so it should be amazing!

I dont know if I mentioned this before but Im also thinking about changing my major (yes, again). My parents are building a custom made house and I have been really involved in the whole architechtual aspect of it. The blueprints, the designing, the engineering...everything. Its incredibly interesting and it even inspired me to want to change my major to that...but its not for sure yet. I would love to...but we will see I guess.

Other than that...I have a graduation party to go to next week and im getting my dress fitted right now. So excited! Its the sexiest dress I have ever owned. Its one of those super low v cut dresses where you cant even wear a bra. Yeah, its adorable!

Nossa Senhora!

so...I probably have the swine flu, who really knows. All I know is that I feel like shit and that I have flu like symptoms...whether its really the flu or not is not yet known. I slept all day today on my grandmas huge ass comfy bed! At around 5 all the portuguese families here in Puerto Cabello went to church together to celebrate the Virgin Mary of fatima. Its Portugal's own little Virgin Mary that they have going on. Her story is so beautiful. I know a lot of people arent religious, but the story really is beautiful and I love how it brings people together a couple times a year. I grew up with all of these people who I rarely get to see anymore because we have all grown up so much so getting to see them is always so fun! Getting to dress up and hang out together to celebrate something so wonderful is amazing in my opinion. I dont really care what people have to say about religion. Its not something you can prove right or wrong and for me its mostly about whats within me and what I choose to believe in. Being Catholic doesnt mean I have to shoot down anyone who disagrees or believes something different, and it doesnt mean I have to follow all the "rules" of the religion. Its all up to me and what I find best fits my life and my beliefs. You can be incredibly proud to be Jewish and that awesome, infact I love that even more. I love how people are proud to be what they are. Whats the point in trying to find all of the correct answers when you will never ever ever ever ever find them? Instead I choose to believe something so much more than anything imaginable and I love it. I think thats really great. I also kind of find it offensive when people who are so against religion celebrate MY holidays like Christmas and Easter etc. If you hate and disagree with religion so much dont run around celebrating something that is based off of it, youre just mocking what I believe in and quite frankly I find it kind of annoying. I dont go around celebrating Hanukkah because its about "giving" and "family". I guess there is no point in arguing about it now since its something that America has ruined all on its own. I just find it really hypocritical. Anyways, we have another church sesh on Sunday and that day we are also having a party for her! yay I cant wait! I have always loved Virgen de Fatima. I have a little statue figure of her and the three kid pastors and I swear I cherish and adore that little thing more than life itself. Infact the crown on the back of my neck is the crown she wears, which also happens to be the crown on the Portuguese coat of arms!! yay for being incredibly proud of my heritage as always! The down side of tonight was seeing my prissy ass cousin Carolina who refuses to talk to me because she thinks shes just the hottest shit in town. How annoying are those people? People whos self esteem are so high that you want to slap them back to earth and remind them that they are normal ass human beings like the rest of us. Most of the people who have that high of self esteem have no reason to anyways. Being vain for no reason is ugly. Just FYI. Ahh im being so negative...I swear its the sickness :(

I also need this ring in my life A fucking SAP!
Click Now!
My birthday is in 3 months (August 17th....) so if any of you lovely people want to get that for me I will probably give give you my soul.

I also update way too much...yikes.

la la la la la......

I had a terrible migraine earlier (surprise surprise) and fell at sleep at 7. Now I have awakened and I cant seem to fall back into that amazing slumber. I was supposed to have a date with Nick today (online sadly) because hes going through a rough time and I want to be there for him, but my migraines do take over my life, as sad as that is. It sucks because whenever I feel one coming I have to instantly drop everything and proceed to a dark room with no noise and nothing that will bother me. I think my grandma is making me and eye appointment tomorrow to see if maybe thats whats been triggering them. I used to care if I had glasses mostly because I always bragged about how perfect my vision was...but being on the computer, reading and tv and shit has really taken a toll I think. Its either that or my amazing bad sight genes are starting to sneak up. Oh well, Im sure ill look sexy in glasses anyways hahha.

I quit my job yesterday. I really couldnt stand the people I worked with, and usually thats ok because there is always going to be someone you dont get along with. However, there was way too much negativity to handle for a summer job, you really dont notice how other peoples bad attitudes affect your work until you have to deal with so many of them at a time, and homegirl had no chin, therefore making it hard to look at her whenever I had to. bahhahh im horrible, but really this girl deservers it. At least I still have one other awesome job and now I can enroll is some cool classes. Im definitely taking Portuguese to perfect my language. Its really the most beautiful language out there and I heard it was one of the hardest in the world to learn. It makes me so damn proud to be Portuguese. Luis and my bro are taking it with me in the city so that should be a lot of fun. Im also thinking about either taking Tennis or salsa dancing. Tennis because I naturally kick ass at it. I never played it anywhere else but school and when I did I just dominated everyone. I really love it too! Its so fast paced and you get the best work out ever. I also want to do salsa dancing because dancing is my passion. Salsa dancing is also incredible sexy too, and im all for sexy! I heard that was the new hip thing to do here so I might as well try it out. I know I'll love it! Im really keen on taking an artsy class though because those never get old. Ive done quite a few here and they have all taught me an absurd amount of stuff and I even have some of my work displayed! I still have time to think about it I guess since everything starts Jun 1st. So if anyone has any ideas let me knowwwww.

I started doing cardio work outs to Billy Blanks dvds and let me tell you...Billy can sure kick my ass...and hard. I felt so incredibly amazing afterwards though, and I cant WAIT to do it again tomorrow morning and looking fly for when my new swim suit comes it! I got one custom made and its a strapless kind!! I have always been iffy about those do to my naturally smaller chest, but I got all my measurements down and I really think its going to look good! Im thinking about getting a navy color so it looks good with my hair, but we will see. So far summer has been kind of blah. I miss my cutie Nick though, a lot. Seeing him in such down spirits makes me so sad and it makes it worse that i'm so far away. He is such a smart guy though and I know he will come out of whatever funk he is in and prevail! I have full confidence in him :) I do miss him dearly though. wahhh. Also Mothers day was awesome. I spent the day with momskis, stepdad, bro and grams and we all went to Valencia to eat at the most amazing restaurant called Rodeo Grill! We had this really delish portuguese food that I could honestly have for the rest of my life and be completely content. We then went to play laser tag ( I PLAYED IN HEELS BTW) and we to this awesomely gigantic mall that they have. You can seriously spend an incredible amount of hours there and you still wouldnt have a chance to see everything. I couldnt help but go in the Sanrio store to drool over all of the Hello Kitty stuff. That store should be illegal. Everytime I go in there I end up dying a little because I want EVERYTHING. They had this amaizng Hello Kitty toaster oven that I would die for. I also saw this gigantic hello kitty face pillow. One of those soft ones that you can melt into! My mom said she would buy it for my birthday!! hahaha I cant WAIT to have that huge ass thing sitting on my bed. I think im the ultimate hello kitty fan, honestly I would die to have my whole house just pimped out in Hello Kitty. My grandma is buying me this amazingly cute Hello Kitty jewelry case that has a dancing hello kitty ballerina in it when you open it! Like one of those old school victorian jewelry cases ya know? ahhhhhh SO EXCITED!! Ill post mothers day pictures later though.

Tattoos!

I'm totally using this as my inspiration for my next tattoo. I want it to be a mix of this and Angelina Jolies back tattoo.. therefore I want the words to start on my back shoulder area and wrap back around to my side like Megan fox's. I've had this idea since before I got my first tattoo but its such a big one that I decided to wait a couple years to see if I really wanted it, and 2 years later I still want it! I need to find the perfect words to get done though. I have always had Jason Mraz's lyrics to life is wonderful in the back of my mind because I absolutely love those lyrics and it has nothing to do with my past loves or relationships at all so I wont need to worry about regretting it or anything, but It needs to be absolutely perfect so obviously I need to think about this more so I wont get it done in a long time. I also want to incorporate some flowers, since I'm obsessed with them. Im not sure if I want to get a flower as a whole different tattoo though. I really need to finish my crown tattoo on the back of my neck so I'm going to work on that while I still plan out my big big big one coming up! Actually now that I think about it I kind of want to add to the one on my hip as well, so maybe I will do that too.I cant wait..Its going to be so sexy I can hardly stand it!!

edit: this is exactly what I want except a little more extended and more words...

The Veronicas

Since we are sort of on the topic of fashion, I came across this little gem. Im obsessed with this band called The Veronicas..which consists of two aussie girls, Lisa & Jessica Origliasso. They are pretty well known for their songs "4ever", "Untouched", and "Take me on the floor" (which by the way is their new single, check it outt) and their fabulous stule. Every week, on their website (theveronicas.com) they post style tips, amongst other things and I found this so cute and hilarious. Im pretty obsessed with band and have been since I first heard their song 4ever back in 05 or 06.

2009 MET Ball Gala....

Fashion has always been something I have been very into, thanks to my mom and aunt, although I wouldnt necessarily make it a career or study it in school. I think its mostly because that kind of industry is dirty and cold. Its full of people who have their heads so far up their asses, that they like the smell of their own shit, its kind of like that SF south park episode. I wouldnt want my life to revolve around countless hours of working for something who treats me like shit and makes me feel badly about myself, meanwhile having no family or friends because you have no time, and mostly because people in the industry are so mean and cold that they simply dont care. Maybe its a stereotype, but ive seen it first hand. Im more into being happy with my career and being able to love myself, my body and my job. Its a neat thought, but in the end, its not for me. Needless to say, Im a girl...who loves fashion and clothes. I spend a good amount of time reading fashion magazines and looking stuff up online, so naturally I was very interested in seeing the MET gala pictures. I think its funny how half of these people who went have amazing style, but completely blew it on that day because they wanted to top everyone. I guess that goes to show that when you try too hard, you end up looking like a fool.

Here are my faves and my least faves (please remember, im not an expert...these are just opinions)


Kanye West and Amber Rose killed it! They look absolutely breathtaking! I have always liked them as a couple, they complement each other so well! Amber Rose's dress and skin color contrasts so nicely! Its one of the things ive always liked about being tan...reds and oranges look fabulous on you! Did I mention I envy her ability to rock the bald head?


Heidi Klum kind of disappointed me this time. I was a strong believer that she never fails at looking fashionable, but this Navy Blue J. Mendel dress is a bit tacky. I think its too voluminous, and although she IS pregnant, I dont know if it works. I do, however, love her up do! I think it elongates her neck and makes her look so fresh and naturally flawless (which she is).


Yikes! Way to ruin a beautiful Jason Wu gown by pairing it with a pair of hideous black heals and black tights. If she got rid of those two things, she would have looked amazing! Her hair is also looking a bit rough. Her pink clutch also blows.


ahhh, Blake Lively! Definitely one of my favorite fashionistas! She always looks so chic and yet so her own style, which I admire. I love her Versace dress, despite other critics. I love the slit, the sleeve, the hair, the make up and the shoes. That color especially compliments her very well!


oh jesus, can anyone ever criticize this woman? Look at her! She may be the only one who can rock that Marc Jacobs Asymmetrical frock. Never fails. Although, she should probably stop tanning?


two of my favorite ladies are present in this picture, and both look amazing! Kate Bosthworth is another celebrity I admire. She always looks so classy yet edgy and different. Red lips look good on very very few people, but she rocks it! Liv Tyler, look amazing!! She is such a classy lady, so chic and so flawless. Her Stella McCartney (whom also dressed Kate) is gorgeous. Love the detailing and I love how it looks against her pale skin. Her hair looks amazing as well as her make-up. I love love loooove it. As for the other two, Im just not feeling it. Especially that lacy get up. I mean honestly...being a very successful fashion designer (and one of my faves to follow) you should know how to not wear hideous outfits.


This is one of my top 2 favorites of the night! Im a huge fan of natural, classy beauty. Marion Cotillard looks breathtaking. Her pale pink Dior gown looks very chic with her curls and natural make-up. I admire natural beauty more than any else when it comes to the sort, mostly because its the true meaning of beautiful, anyone can cake makeup on and look good, very few can look this good otherwise. Her look appeals to me so much more! Hands down one of my top favorites.


I cant decide whether I like this or not. One thing I can say though is that I admire the fact that she kept her hair and make-up simple since she already has A LOT going on. Still very chic in my opinion, but when is she not?


One of the things you learn being a small framed girl is that its never ok to make yourself look smaller, which is something MK does ALL THE TIME! its really no wonder people call her a troll...she makes herlsef look stumpy and midget-like. Its a combo of the unnecessary layering and long hair.


Bar Refaeli rocked this look! Very simple yet very bold. Love it.


Kate Moss is one of my biggest fashion icons! I love that woman to death and I dont care what she has done in the past, her style is amazing. However, she let me down big time. This turban and gold gown are not doing it for me. Her make-up looks horrid as well, and to be honest she doesnt even look like herself. Big let down! However, Marc Jacobs looks dashing. I do love Kates Shoes!


ahh yes, A fashion icon of mine that did not let me down! Rachel Bilson looked amazing! The color and cut of her dress is so fierce. This is how short people should do it. Her shoes tie evertything together and makes it her own. Typical Rachel actually, she is known to be very simple with one splash of funk. Love it!


Eva Mendes, always a favorite of mine. Looking very simple yet very Chic in a Calvin Klein gown. Minimal make-up and subtle jewelry.


To be honest, I love this look. Rhianna is known to rock the most obscure outfits and still look extremely chic and gorgeous. I admire any woman who can make mens wear look extremely feminine and she does it all the time. The cropped pants with the shoes are perfect. Hair and make-up look fierce as well. I think she could have lost the gloves though....


No, just no!


eek. Katy Perry never stuns me with her attires. She looks awful. Everything about her look is so god damn awful. Yuck.


Beautiful! Claire Danes never fails to look absolutely gorgeous and classy.


I think this is super fun and flirty. I love her hair and the dress are edgy! I dont particularly like the sleeve though...or the blue bag.


Love this! I looove her wrap around pale pink dress, and I mostly love the black accents. Her shoes are super cute!


You all know my love for Anne Hathaway. She totally rocked it with her Marc Jacobs frock and 80s retro hair.


Yikes, for someone who also always looks flawless, Giselle sure did bomb this one! Nothing about this works.


I will give props to he usually very bland Jessica Biel for her dress and hair/MU...Although im not a HUGE fan of her dress, I think it works, and the color looks good on her. Her hair is very nice and classy along with her shoes! what is UP with JTs glasses? lets not turn into Kanye, Jt.


hands down my favorite look of the night! Iman looks FLAWLESS! The kind of flawless I wish I could be. Her dress falls in all the right places. The cream color of her dress looks amazing gorgeous against her dark skin! Her hair is very classy and beautiful and her jewerly as well. Ahhh she looks amazing for her age!!! I particularly love the top part of her dress. For someone small chested (like myself) its important to have ruffles and volume in that area of your body, it makes everything look proportionate and it makes your body look slim and perfect! Perfect perfect perfect!


Oh Molly Simms....no no noooo, again..trying wayyyy too hard.


ash much as I adore Milla Jovovich, I do not adore this dress. The color is no flattering to her skin color and the detailing is a tad bit silly.


again with the making yourself look smaller attires. Ugh.....at least Ashley keeps it classy without the layers and the cute bob and make-up. She was always the better twin.


yikes....


double yikes....and probably worst dressed, along with Madonna!

Thats all! Now its your turn! Who here follows fashion/is interested in it at all? Who are your favorite designers, fashion icons, trends, looks etc etc....I would love to hear!

Music

http://www.mtv.co.uk/shows/mtv-push/episode/mtv-push-presents-the-veronicas
^ I love those acoustic shows The Veronicas for MTV Push. Lisa's voice in the song "This Love" is incredible!! Im a huge fan of Lisa's voice without it being produced. Make sure to check these out.


In other news, I stole a bunch of music from Nick last night haha. I stole all of his Common Market and Blue Scholars songs as well as all of his Gorillaz music. Im pretty much obsessed with Blue Scholars. Coming from someone who doesnt normally like rap...at all, this shit is amazing. Their lyrics are so powerful and their beats are catchy but still not overly obnoxious. I already have a couple favorite songs; southwest revival, no rest for the weary and sagaba remix. Im a pretty big fan of Common Market too, I remember when Nick and I first started dating he would say that Common Market reminded him of me because it made him smile so much. hahaha what a cheesy thing to say, but still pretty damn cute. :)

My clothes from my shopping spree arrived today. Im still expecting one more from topshop but I dont think that will be coming until tomorrow....I hope.

Click!

I cant believe people in our country, the country who was built on equality for all etc, have such obscure thoughts about something that show be no different then racial issues. This whole much needed debate started at Miss USA this weekend when the openly gay Perez Hilton ( one of the judges) asked Miss California what her thoughts are on states legalizing same sex marriage. Of course, as you may already figured it out, she said she believed that marriage should be between a man and a woman. I honestly believe that everyone should have their own opinions. I mean, I cant believe that an abnormal amount of people in this country are still racists. We look back on those times and cringe at the fact that it ever happened. Whats the difference now? The video above is of a hot debate between Perez and some douche bag radio personal who is opposed to same sex marriage. If you listen to his opinions and his points about it, it makes absolutely no sense. Thats the thing, when we ask conservative people why they are opposed to it, the always bring up the issue of the bible/church/god/, restating the definition of marriage (which has been redefined before...and wasnt it for a good cause?) Anyways, this man brought up the fact that male and females are very different, in what way, im not sure since he failed to explain himself. Seriously though, what does that have to do with ANYTHING?? A family of a male and a female can give greater love to their children? No, that is so false in so many ways. I think its truly sick how anyone can ever say such a thing. Gay couples arent capable of giving greater love to their children and showing them, raising them to be civilized americans? Thats what people are scared of? Fucking ridiculous man. These people are normal, just like me and you and they are tax payers. Shouldn't that give them the right to have a civil union and share all of the great things about marriage? Marriage between two people is the same in every language, every culture and every country. Love is love and isnt THAT what marriage should be based on? hmm...Another argument that I cant quite wrap my finger around is that if America legalizes same sex marriage, they will have to legalize marriage for everyone else this includes; bestiality, incest, and marrying two people. Seriously? These people have their heads up so far in their ass that they cant see the CLEAR difference between two people of the same sex loving each other and someone wanting to marry and animal, or their fucking sister? Ugh I am so peeved. When will this country do what they preach and fucking get it together. I am so saddened by the many gay people I know who are being discriminated so badly by their own country. When will we wake up and look back on this and cringe just like we do now. So many suicides have been happening. Is this what we want for our country? For people to feel like they have to end their lives because they're not being accepted? Conservatives always preach about things not being patriotic and even the good ol precious Bill O' Reilly said that americans support each other and should be supported no matter what you believe....I mean he is full of shit clearly because he is nothing short of ignorant, but its true...we SHOULD all love each other. Gay, straight, black, white, asian, hispanic, we are all PEOPLE. We are all HUMANS and if normal humans, NORMAL TAX PAYERS cant have basic civil rights then wtf is this country living up to? Quick 2 second weddings in Vegas arent ruining the sanction of marriage but oh gosh what out for those gays, they will each your family.

Brilliant!

I just came across the most genius blogs of all time! Theres nothing like a good ol' blog about treacherous things you wouldnt even think about ever saying. ladies and gents (although....I doubt any "gents" read this) I introduce to you, TheBoobs Its bascially all about random shit like boobs, nail art, random findings of weird things (for example...check out the hello kitty lingerie get up and the hello kitty vibrator...). This blog definitely had me going for a good hour.

I dedicated my header pic to the wonderful Debbie Harry! After all the name of my blog is a Blondie song and Blondie is one of my favorite bands! Enjoyy!

Sorry I have been abondening my poor little blog. I have been going back and forth between this and my lj. I guess if you still love me you can check out my stuff there as well click here!. I cant decide which one I like best, so if I go weeks and weeks without updating its most likely because I'm updating that.

Anyways, on too more important (or less important?) things, yesterday was such a nice day! 75 degrees!! 75 degrees doesnt seem like much to those living in warmer places, but 75 degrees for eastern washington is a blessing. Nick and I went outside to the park right by here and played cards. I bought my vogue to read as well. We just relaxed and enjoyed the sun! I loved every minute of it!! A bunch of random people were out too which made everything a little nicer :) By the way our 14 months was April 1st!! 14 months!! thats crazy and my longest official relationship! <333 Also while reading Vogue, I was reading a little tid bit on Adele, who is my new obsession by the way. In the article she was talking about her fashion sense and her favorite places to shop (around the world btw) and she said she particularly loved 21st street in Portland (specifically the vintage shops there)!!! I thought it was SO cool that out of all the places shes been to around the US alone, she chose the amazing little street in Portland! :) love it when one of my cities gets recognized by big names in big magazines like that (glamour also talks about Portland a lot too)!! I really liked the whole article as well, she seems like such a genuine artist and I love how although she looks like a sweetheart all innocent she actually has major attitude, she doesnt give two shits about her figure and I really admire that! Her voice is amazing as well, she has such strong vocals, very Etta James like. Definitely check out her songs if you havent!!

Also I discovered Twitter for the second time, and this time it actually clicked! If any of you have one and would like to follow me, my username is Sweetcarolinee. I actually update an absurd amount of times and I try to keep it a little more interesting then jus the usual "going to school...." things.


Edit: Does anyone here have an ipod touch/iphone? if so, what apps do you guys have and why? Im trying to find some cool ones but I get so impatient/ dont have enough time in a day to look for them, so please...spread the love.

In Another Life

Sorry for my lack of update-age. I have been busy getting ready for spring quarter and what not! I have also lost the ability to organize my thoughts in a way where they could be displayed publicly, but I decided that it just doesnt matter anymore. HA!


I got used to living without you
Endless phone calls and dreaming about you
Always said that you were my man to be
But I guess I was in love with your memory

You know I love you, I really do
But I can't fight anymore for you
And I don't know, maybe we'll be together again
Sometime, in another life
In another life

A couple days ago I was listening to my broken heart playlist (which I KNEW was a bad decision right from the get go) and I completely broke down. For those of you who dont know, my "broken heart" playlist is full of songs that remind me of Stephen, the guy I wrote about a few entries back. Its unfortunate because I was finally starting to forget him. I really was! I should have known that one song or one memory would make me lose it completely. So I have a question: How do you completely forget about your first love who has completely ruined your life and didnt get any closure from? I know the fact that we havent had any "closure" is the main reason this situation is killing me, and has been for so long but I really dont see it happening, at all. I really just want this to end. Its hurt more than any other break up I have ever gone through and I think its really about time its over.

I have this weird habit of making connections with songs and people. There isnt a song that I listen to that doesnt remind me of someone, something or a certain memory. I am not sure if I am the only one who does this, but Im also not sure if I like it. I would like to listen to my favorite songs that dont suddenly remind me of someone I want to forget. Does anyone else do this? Im weird, I know.

On a lighter note, I bought some of the M.A.C Hello Kitty make-up! Im not really into make-up mostly because I all for natural beauty, but I could not pass up Hello kitty. I bought blush and a tinted moisturizer for your lips. I loooooooove both of them and really recommend everyone to get some! Its funny that this line coming out suddenly reminded everyone that Hello Kitty exists. I have heard a million girls talk about how they liked Hello Kitty since they were born, but honestly? Suddenly the whole worlds love her? I dont buy it.

p.s- Sorry for the lack of substance in this post, I really have nothing interesting going on my life besides the irrational thoughts going in my mind. I did however change the header picture to Scarlett Johansson because I am obsessed with her.

Happy Valentines Day!

You dont need a significant other to celebrate love.
Happy Valentines day everyone!

ramblings.

A lot has happened I feel like since the last time I posted but I feel like its all in my head. Not that im crazy its just that ive been thinking about a lot of things recently so it feels like ive been up to a lot. There has been a number of things that has made this week just unbelievably weird/ not ok.
1. Ive been feeling ill for the past week or so. My stomach is in constant pain after every thing I eat. At first I thought it was just the usual stomach acid problem I have but it stays in my stomach whereas usually it goes from my stomach to my chest and then my throat. Anyways, so my appetite has gone downhill and my body is having constant heat flashes. One second ill be freezing my bum off and the next im sweating non-stop regardless of the freezing temperature outside. I dont really know what it is but I may or may not have internal fever and that just sucks in my opinion. I feel weak and dizzy constantly as well :/
2. I found out my friend is getting married via LJ.... definitely not the way I would have liked that to go down but what can you do?
3. I worked 40 hours this week which is NOT what I signed up to do! grrrr.
4. I got harassed at work by some giant man. I would go into detail because the story is actually quite interesting but again, I dont feel good and I doubt anyone actually cares.
5. Fasfa and taxes....enough said.
6. I keep thinking about how im leaving my boyfriend and of course its making me real depressed. Ugh how come I cant have everything I want without giving something incredibly important up? I keep thinking to myself that if we are meant to be together we will be. I just have to replay that in my head until I feel better I guess.
7. I cant really think of the 7th reason but Im sure there is one somewhere!

On a lighter note, I have been so obsessed with thinking about love, relationship, marriage and everything in between! I am constantly talking to my co-worker Laura about it because shes married and the things she has to say are soooo exciting! I want that love where you never stop flirting with each other no matter how long you have been dating. I want that exciting love where randomly each one of you do little special things for the other just because you know it will make them smile! *sigh* I guess its time to watch a sappy romance film and call it a night!

Hello Kitty + M.A.C

This is like a fantasy for me being such an obsessed Hello Kitty fan! I want everything on this line!

As most of you already know, at least those of you who know me, I decided to move back to Madeira with my family. I have been thinking about this for a few months now and always turned it down for whatever reason but I don't think I can turn it down anymore. I miss my family beyond belief and I just feel like I lost a sense of myself being here pretty much alone. Everything I used to think was important no longer makes any sense, and i barely have any motivation to work for the future I was promised here in the states. I have actually never been a big fan of the states anyways and I don't really have sort of support besides my estranged father who moved to Wisconsin and my older brother who's in the army. I have never been one to depend on other people who aren't members of my family so I decided to stick to my gut and leave. I need their guidance and their company more than I need anything else right now so its what's best.
Of course i'll miss my friends and Nick but I like to look at the positive side especially in a situation like this. Im going to be living on a gorgeous island with the people I absolutely adore the most. Im going to be in EUROPE aka I can take a 50 euro trip to London WHENEVER I want!! I can also visit my Aunt in Venice whenever I want and its going to be all around amazing to be able to visit any european country without hassle or money issues. After the death of my cousin and my grandma last year, I really just dont want to miss out on anymore of my family's life . I want to be there every step of the way and I want them to be there and watch me grow as well. It all sounds super cheesy but it makes perfect sense in my head which is what counts. Im really excited and I already put in me two weeks at work. I'm really excited! I want to just skip all the sad parts and go already!

isnt it just beautiful over there?

Also my dog in Venezuela just had puppies and my mom decided to keep one! He is soooo precious and I cant wait to snuggle with him :) here are pictures!

I really miss this.

He's Just Not That Into You

So I just got back from watching the much anticipated "He's Just Not That Into You" chick flick. For those of you who dont know, its a book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo about reasons why guys and or girls play mind games with you and what they really mean. Its a funny book and surprisingly opens your eyes quite a bit, definitely recommend reading it! I was kind of scared at first because I couldnt see the book as a movie, but after seeing it was directed by the directors of Sex and The City, naturally I was interested.
I think the reason why I loved this movie is because you can totally relate. I mean for anyone who has had many crushes, made stupid relationship mistakes, or even been cheated on, you will relate! First there was the cute, dorky girl who thinks every guy is into her, sadly she gets turned down every time. She does crazy things in order to find out, and sadly she was the one I could relate to the most. I mean for anyone who has known me since middle school...you will know what I mean when I say Gigi is my other half haha. I have been the girl who stalks their crushes endlessly until they somehow (HA!) find out and completely humiliate myself. I have been the girl who made a committed guy cheat on his gf, I have been the girl who got cheated on and I have definitely been the girl to hide herself behind texting/internet (shame i know) but to be honest, I dont think i would take any of those moments back. I dont want to give too much away so all in all I highly recommend this movie!

Im completely frustrated, confused and pretty damn in-content right now. I have been for awhile. I have lost touch with myself and I feel like a complete robot just waking up doing the same thing without any emotions or thoughts. Im sick of living like this. What happened to the fun, free spirited me? I have lost touch with myself and its not ok. Is this borderline depression? I mean seriously WHAT. THE. FUCK? I really need someone to sing "Caroline" by Seventh Day Slumber to me asap.

I just realized I had 6 followers on this blog and i just wanted to thank you guys haha. I think that is motivation enough to keep this blog up and going <3

DIBS!

mm Jakob Dylan can very well be the sexiest man alive.

Finally updating after couple weeks of hiatus. I should be updating this site soon (pictures etc.)

My life has been nothing short of normal. Plain, boring and just dull over all. I guess it doesnt help that I live in one dud of a town. I honestly dont understand the people who are completely content here. My boyfriend being one of them...I guess its just for people who like to either 1. stay home and do..well nothing or 2. people who have no other desire but to get smashed on weekends and kiss/sex multiple gusy. All in all, Pullman is not for me and thats ok, its not for everyone. The more I think about American life/culture, the more I hate it. I mean once you have seen more than what is america, you start to realize that its really not all that here. I am perfectly content knowing that my residence expires in two years.

One of the things that I wrap my mind around is the huge obsession with the superbowl. People who dont even watch football go crazy on this day and for what? A football game? I mean in the end if youre not a huge sports fan, its really just another game and its not that cool. I had to work today, which meant we were slammed up until 3:30 which is when the game started. I just dont get it and never really will. People throw parties and watch the superbowl, people throw parties and dont even watch the superbowl...irs doesnt make any sense and its just another example of how society eats people up!

On a much lighter note (im cranky right now because 1. i woke up at 7 for no apparent reason and couldnt go back to sleep and 2. I just worked a 9 hour shift and could possibly drop dead right now.) Its mine and Nicks one year <3. Its hard to believe its been one year already. Crazy. Its even hard to believe its February! Our year was definitely amazing but lately ive been in a funk. I am that kind of girl that needs excitement, passion, romance and overall attention in a relationship...and im getting almost none of that. Just because we have been dating for a year doesnt mean you cant flirt with me, surprise me, give me some excitement once in awhile. I feel like im married, and even though I am dying to get married, i fucking hope this isnt what married life is like.

I had a crazy dream about Stephen. It was weird considering I havent thought about him since we last saw each other. Its definitely the first time I have gone so long without the thought of him popping into my head and im so relieved. There is no better feeling than knowing your first love isnt suffocating you constantly. Speaking of which, Jonas and I are friends again? Its feels good to know im not the biggest bitch he has ever known!


well Im rambling. I should be updating this more often, I just need more motivation.

P.S- Simon Rex was in my town and I didnt see him....FML!

I want a love like Michelle and Barack Obama.

The City of Roses

Glamour.com

I was reading glamour.com blogs which are....amazing! Seriously if you ever need advice on anything, go there hahaha. They had a little tid bit on Portland which I thought was really cute. Its basically naming all these great things about the city (somethings I didnt even know existed.) I love it when Portland gets all this attention because its really a great city. No matter how often I say I hate Oregon, i will always love Portland. I mean Courtney Love grew up there and wasnt Twilight filmed there?

Also, Why are the Schwartzman brothers so attractive and so underrated? Robert Schwartzman is possibly the hottest guy I have ever seen.

Vogue

I just finished reading my Jan edition of Vogue and I wasnt very impressed with it. Its disappointing when you anticipate an issue of a magazine and it lets you down. They did have a spread about becoming a redhead which was really nice to read considering I did become a redhead. I feel so good as a redhead! I was a bit scared at first but I feel so feisty, unique and edgy. I can wear a somewhat boring outfit, or even a monotonous outfit and stil feel extremely fashionable just because my hair gives it that touch of color and liveliness. I was also really happy to see my obsession Linda Evangelista was a redhead for three years in the 90s! I love her! She is definitely the ultimate icon of class, edge and chic. She inspired me to put a picture of her on this post. I dont think ill go back to brunette for awhile. Being a redhead is extremely refreshing. I also really love Anne Hathaway. She is really underrated and so beautiful. When you have to think of a sexy, classy actress people dont usually think of her right away, but I honestly think shes one of the most beautiful girls in the industry.

I think I made up my mind.
I need to figure out how im going to tell Nick now. :(

picture picture picture time!

I dyed my hair a little more red and got a Guns n Roses shirt today! woooo!

pictures from new years, the park/bowling and when I was a little :) enjoyyy (again you gotta click the picture to see it in its full..sorry) You can see more on my facebook!