Happy Valentines Day!

You dont need a significant other to celebrate love.
Happy Valentines day everyone!

ramblings.

A lot has happened I feel like since the last time I posted but I feel like its all in my head. Not that im crazy its just that ive been thinking about a lot of things recently so it feels like ive been up to a lot. There has been a number of things that has made this week just unbelievably weird/ not ok.
1. Ive been feeling ill for the past week or so. My stomach is in constant pain after every thing I eat. At first I thought it was just the usual stomach acid problem I have but it stays in my stomach whereas usually it goes from my stomach to my chest and then my throat. Anyways, so my appetite has gone downhill and my body is having constant heat flashes. One second ill be freezing my bum off and the next im sweating non-stop regardless of the freezing temperature outside. I dont really know what it is but I may or may not have internal fever and that just sucks in my opinion. I feel weak and dizzy constantly as well :/
2. I found out my friend is getting married via LJ.... definitely not the way I would have liked that to go down but what can you do?
3. I worked 40 hours this week which is NOT what I signed up to do! grrrr.
4. I got harassed at work by some giant man. I would go into detail because the story is actually quite interesting but again, I dont feel good and I doubt anyone actually cares.
5. Fasfa and taxes....enough said.
6. I keep thinking about how im leaving my boyfriend and of course its making me real depressed. Ugh how come I cant have everything I want without giving something incredibly important up? I keep thinking to myself that if we are meant to be together we will be. I just have to replay that in my head until I feel better I guess.
7. I cant really think of the 7th reason but Im sure there is one somewhere!

On a lighter note, I have been so obsessed with thinking about love, relationship, marriage and everything in between! I am constantly talking to my co-worker Laura about it because shes married and the things she has to say are soooo exciting! I want that love where you never stop flirting with each other no matter how long you have been dating. I want that exciting love where randomly each one of you do little special things for the other just because you know it will make them smile! *sigh* I guess its time to watch a sappy romance film and call it a night!

Hello Kitty + M.A.C

This is like a fantasy for me being such an obsessed Hello Kitty fan! I want everything on this line!

As most of you already know, at least those of you who know me, I decided to move back to Madeira with my family. I have been thinking about this for a few months now and always turned it down for whatever reason but I don't think I can turn it down anymore. I miss my family beyond belief and I just feel like I lost a sense of myself being here pretty much alone. Everything I used to think was important no longer makes any sense, and i barely have any motivation to work for the future I was promised here in the states. I have actually never been a big fan of the states anyways and I don't really have sort of support besides my estranged father who moved to Wisconsin and my older brother who's in the army. I have never been one to depend on other people who aren't members of my family so I decided to stick to my gut and leave. I need their guidance and their company more than I need anything else right now so its what's best.
Of course i'll miss my friends and Nick but I like to look at the positive side especially in a situation like this. Im going to be living on a gorgeous island with the people I absolutely adore the most. Im going to be in EUROPE aka I can take a 50 euro trip to London WHENEVER I want!! I can also visit my Aunt in Venice whenever I want and its going to be all around amazing to be able to visit any european country without hassle or money issues. After the death of my cousin and my grandma last year, I really just dont want to miss out on anymore of my family's life . I want to be there every step of the way and I want them to be there and watch me grow as well. It all sounds super cheesy but it makes perfect sense in my head which is what counts. Im really excited and I already put in me two weeks at work. I'm really excited! I want to just skip all the sad parts and go already!

isnt it just beautiful over there?

Also my dog in Venezuela just had puppies and my mom decided to keep one! He is soooo precious and I cant wait to snuggle with him :) here are pictures!

I really miss this.

He's Just Not That Into You

So I just got back from watching the much anticipated "He's Just Not That Into You" chick flick. For those of you who dont know, its a book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo about reasons why guys and or girls play mind games with you and what they really mean. Its a funny book and surprisingly opens your eyes quite a bit, definitely recommend reading it! I was kind of scared at first because I couldnt see the book as a movie, but after seeing it was directed by the directors of Sex and The City, naturally I was interested.
I think the reason why I loved this movie is because you can totally relate. I mean for anyone who has had many crushes, made stupid relationship mistakes, or even been cheated on, you will relate! First there was the cute, dorky girl who thinks every guy is into her, sadly she gets turned down every time. She does crazy things in order to find out, and sadly she was the one I could relate to the most. I mean for anyone who has known me since middle school...you will know what I mean when I say Gigi is my other half haha. I have been the girl who stalks their crushes endlessly until they somehow (HA!) find out and completely humiliate myself. I have been the girl who made a committed guy cheat on his gf, I have been the girl who got cheated on and I have definitely been the girl to hide herself behind texting/internet (shame i know) but to be honest, I dont think i would take any of those moments back. I dont want to give too much away so all in all I highly recommend this movie!

Im completely frustrated, confused and pretty damn in-content right now. I have been for awhile. I have lost touch with myself and I feel like a complete robot just waking up doing the same thing without any emotions or thoughts. Im sick of living like this. What happened to the fun, free spirited me? I have lost touch with myself and its not ok. Is this borderline depression? I mean seriously WHAT. THE. FUCK? I really need someone to sing "Caroline" by Seventh Day Slumber to me asap.

I just realized I had 6 followers on this blog and i just wanted to thank you guys haha. I think that is motivation enough to keep this blog up and going <3

DIBS!

mm Jakob Dylan can very well be the sexiest man alive.

Finally updating after couple weeks of hiatus. I should be updating this site soon (pictures etc.)

My life has been nothing short of normal. Plain, boring and just dull over all. I guess it doesnt help that I live in one dud of a town. I honestly dont understand the people who are completely content here. My boyfriend being one of them...I guess its just for people who like to either 1. stay home and do..well nothing or 2. people who have no other desire but to get smashed on weekends and kiss/sex multiple gusy. All in all, Pullman is not for me and thats ok, its not for everyone. The more I think about American life/culture, the more I hate it. I mean once you have seen more than what is america, you start to realize that its really not all that here. I am perfectly content knowing that my residence expires in two years.

One of the things that I wrap my mind around is the huge obsession with the superbowl. People who dont even watch football go crazy on this day and for what? A football game? I mean in the end if youre not a huge sports fan, its really just another game and its not that cool. I had to work today, which meant we were slammed up until 3:30 which is when the game started. I just dont get it and never really will. People throw parties and watch the superbowl, people throw parties and dont even watch the superbowl...irs doesnt make any sense and its just another example of how society eats people up!

On a much lighter note (im cranky right now because 1. i woke up at 7 for no apparent reason and couldnt go back to sleep and 2. I just worked a 9 hour shift and could possibly drop dead right now.) Its mine and Nicks one year <3. Its hard to believe its been one year already. Crazy. Its even hard to believe its February! Our year was definitely amazing but lately ive been in a funk. I am that kind of girl that needs excitement, passion, romance and overall attention in a relationship...and im getting almost none of that. Just because we have been dating for a year doesnt mean you cant flirt with me, surprise me, give me some excitement once in awhile. I feel like im married, and even though I am dying to get married, i fucking hope this isnt what married life is like.

I had a crazy dream about Stephen. It was weird considering I havent thought about him since we last saw each other. Its definitely the first time I have gone so long without the thought of him popping into my head and im so relieved. There is no better feeling than knowing your first love isnt suffocating you constantly. Speaking of which, Jonas and I are friends again? Its feels good to know im not the biggest bitch he has ever known!


well Im rambling. I should be updating this more often, I just need more motivation.

P.S- Simon Rex was in my town and I didnt see him....FML!